


Two of Hearts

by Laurasauras



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Ficlet, First Dates, Fluff, M/M, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-14
Updated: 2019-06-14
Packaged: 2020-05-07 17:39:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19214311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laurasauras/pseuds/Laurasauras
Summary: It's John and Karkat's first date, and neither of them are good at this.





	Two of Hearts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [buffdaddy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/buffdaddy/gifts).



> This is a birthday present for [Azreto!](https://azreto.com/) He's an excellent dude who draws the most beautiful and buffest of Homestucks, and he's always such a sweetheart. Happy birthday, Aze!

It was times like this that Karkat is glad that he has someone sensible to vent to after he’s done having the most confusing date of his life. The fact that Dave Strider has become his “someone sensible” only serves to show how ridiculous his current experience is.

John Egbert is demonstrating a magic trick for him.

Not a _good_ magic trick, or one that might utilise his actual fucking god of breath powers, but an overly complicated human card trick. The only small mercy is that he hasn’t asked Karkat to “pick a card, any card” yet. 

‘John, I will do literally anything for you to put your human deck of cards down,’ Karkat says. ‘That’s a risky thing to say on a first date! If you were my other boyfriend, you’d take advantage of such a risky thing to say! But you’re not, and you’re looking at me like you think maybe I’m exaggerating, so let’s be _really_ clear about this. Let’s get uncomfortably close to this situation.’

Karkat takes a breath, because he has experiences in temper tantrums and he knows how not to pass out before he’s made his point, and John grimaces awkwardly, his hands drooping but still clutching his deck of cards.

‘The level to which I’m willing to do anything for you to put your human deck of cards down cannot be exaggerated. I will lie myself at your feet, take the bluntest object from my sylladex, and carve open my tubby little belly for you. I’ll pick up my gastric sausages and offer them to you in benediction, oh that it may be enough for you to put down your _fucking_ cards.’

‘Karkat …’ John says.

_’What?’_

He flicks a card through the air and Karkat catches it on reflex. He scowls at it, already preparing another rant, when he sees what it is.

Oh. It’s the two of hearts.

‘I thought … it seemed like something an idiot would do in a romcom,’ John says, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. ‘I dunno, I probably went overboard? But I thought the payoff would be worth it.’

‘Nngh,’ Karkat says. 

John stops looking at his shoes and peeks up at Karkat. Something on his face seems to cheer him up and John tentatively smiles, ducking a bit lower to try and get more directly in Karkat’s line of sight. 

‘Hey, buddy?’ he says.

Karkat makes a vaguely assenting noise.

‘You know you haven’t actually fucked up with me if I haven’t fucked up with you, right?’

Karkat presses his playing card to his chest and looks at John properly. Trust him to be able to spin his quadrants like a garment whirlpool device turned up to domestic harbinger. 

‘I’m a piece of shit,’ Karkat says, taking Dave’s advice and not speaking for twenty minutes about how awful he is instead of apologising. Dave thinks that one day he’ll be able to just say, “I’m sorry,” without acting like he’s obliged to write a full-length roast on himself first.

‘Nah,’ John says. ‘I mean, maybe? I’m not really qualified to say. But I already knew you did that and I still want to date you. It’s kinda hilarious most of the time. You know, when I’m not trying to be romantic at you.’

‘Mmmphrgh,’ Karkat says.

John looks at his watch, and Karkat manages not to ask him if he’s somehow bored by his mortification.

‘Huh, did we meet like half an hour ago?’ John asks.

‘ _Yes_ , Egbert. Your incredibly touching and beautiful gesture went on for _at least_ 20 minutes before I lost my shit like I wanted the gold medal in unreasonable shit-losing.’

John grins goofily and Karkat melts a little bit. 

‘So, my plan was to do the super sweet and perhaps too-long magic trick, then take you to an arcade and impress you with my Frogger abilities and presumably beat the crap out of you in Dance Dance Revolution, so do you want to do that or did I fuck up the date too bad?’

Karkat doesn’t trust himself to speak without swearing, even though John’s continued ambivalence towards his most unreasonable shitfits is in itself both very comforting and very infuriating in the way that anyone who refuses to take him seriously is, so he just reaches down and takes John’s hand. It’s cold, as it always is, and John actually floats a couple of inches off the ground with happiness when Karkat threads their fingers together.

‘Did you yell at Dave on your first date with him as well?’ John asks.

‘Yes,’ Karkat says, matter-of-factly. ‘And he’ll tell you he deserved it, too.’


End file.
